Comfort Tones

One wintry afternoon in 2024 I drove up to the wooded lot where my forever home was newly staked out for construction. It was a shock to see the area denuded of the pines, firs, maples, ferns, salal, and underbrush that had once stood there. The earth looked raw. I had asked for as few trees to be taken down as possible, but the drainage requirements were quite complicated, and there we were…the forest, the raw space, the staked, clean geometry where my home would one day lay, and me. I didn’t really understand it yet, but I was also quite raw. It had been just a few weeks since my mother, after fighting her long, cruel battle, had left so peacefully that I felt that I had witnessed a birth rather than a death.

I made my way across the muddy clumps of earth, picking through the roots and sticks that stood up here and there. Awestruck, I crossed where the threshold would be, and went straight to the back, where there would one day be porch doors right up against the forest. Quietly, I waited there, imagining, and was filled with purpose and a sense of great responsibility for my family.

Standing at that place in time, in the before and after, a loud “Gronk!!” shocked me out of my inward contemplation. At first, I thought it was a goose, of all things. Like a fool, I wondered how a goose got up in the fir tree directly in front of me. I angled my neck up, but couldn’t locate the source of the bizarre honking noises. Just then, the sounds abruptly changed: there was a warbling, rippling, water-upon-water noise that was vaguely familiar. Then it struck me; it was very similar to the Persian jays I so rarely got the pleasure of hearing back in Ankara..but, somehow, different. I spoke softly to it, aiming my voice up to the tree top, and we carried on like that for a few minutes. I didn’t say anything of importance; just salutations and heartfelt thanks for the visit.

As I got into my car it was still making the odd noise here and there.

Later, I sought out the calls of several bird species on Youtube, and my suspicions were confirmed: I had indeed been visited by a raven…and those water-like sounds? They are known as “comfort tones”. Ravens make them to loved ones, usually to their nestlings, and occasionally to mates. Yet, I had heard only the one raven, and the sounds had seemed directed to exactly my location. Ravens, like nearly all birds, hatch their nests in the spring; never in the winter.

My mother passed on Dec.8th, 2024. I received my raven visit on Jan.8th, 2025.

This painting is inspired by one I took while walking along a beach outside my mother’s care-taking facility. I couldn’t tell if it was a raven or a crow when I took it, so in my own work I added a few hints of raven.